My life before I met Jesus was very much like a crazy and dangerous roller coaster ride.  Some people like roller coaster rides, in fact a lot of people do.  Not me, I guess I am just a scaredy cat.  But, amazingly enough in my life before Jesus shined his light on me, I went down dangerous and scary roads.  In fact, trying to find peace and love, I ended up in dangerous places.  As a kid, I did go to a true believing, God fearing church and learned about Jesus, but my heart wasn’t ready to accept Him in it and my life.  I had head knowledge but not heart knowledge and as time went on, I went away from the church.  Though my grandma, mom, and other people would tell me how I need Jesus and he is the answer to everything, I still didn’t accept this as truth.  Honestly I rejected it altogether.  I even told them how it didn’t make sense and refused to listen to anything regarding God or the Bible.  I was very selfish and only wanted to live for myself, but truly it was only in God’s timing would He show Himself to me.  Due to things that happened to me along the way growing up and early adulthood, I had a hard time accepting that God did love me because He let things happen to me.  My heart was cold toward Him.  Like the Israelites who went away from God and suffered oppression, I too was left to evil because instead of turning to God for help, I went away from Him into evil.  Anything that is done without God is evil because He is not a part of it.  Some people would say that’s not true, but it is the truth.  What I would try to do for good would end up being evil because my mind was futile and I was self righteous.  So, I did end up doing bad things just like all people have done and still do at times.  The difference between Christians and those who reject God’s Son is the fact that when you have the Holy Spirit of God, He convicts you of your own sin and keeps your heart aligned with God’s.  It is only by the grace of God that anyone can have any good because He is the only One who is perfect and never evil. 

In 2008 when I was in a store to buy presents for my son’s birthday, a messenger of God placed something in my hand, closed it and said these words:”Here this is for you.”  Then he walked away and I didn’t see him anymore.  When I opened my hand to see what he placed in it, I was humbled before God because what he had given me was a cross with words written that said I Jesus Lord.  I knew immediately what God was telling me because His Spirit opened the eyes of my heart to see Jesus and I said yes to Jesus and now the Spirit of God lives within my heart and my life hasn’t been the same ever since that special day in March of 2008.  Praise the Lord because God brought me to Jesus.  He knew my heart was ripe to receive Him.

God is the one who is leading me in my walk with Him.  Everyday there is a struggle but the Lord is holding my hand and sometimes he carries me when I can’t walk.  Though I don’t see Him, I know He is there and can sense His presence because God is everywhere I am.  He has given me His Holy Spirit that dwells in my heart and my Heavenly Father is all around me.  The Lord guides my heart and directs my steps into the path I need to go.  Therefore we must prayerfully consider these verses in His Holy Word in 2 Corinthians 5:5 and 7   Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, gauranteeing what is to come.  We live by faith, not by sight.

Thank You God, thank You Jesus for all that you have done

For giving me eternal life through the blood of Your only Son

What more can I say? For it’s written in my heart

Your Spirit You have given me never to depart

My heart is brand new and the old me has passed away

Since being baptized with Your fire, I desire to shine Your light for all to see You each day

Isaiah 11 A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.  The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him-the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of power, the Spirit of knowledge and of fear of the Lord- and he will delight in the fear of the Lord.  He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice give decisions for the poor of the earth.  He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth; with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.  Righteousness will be his belt and faithfulness the sash around his waist.  The wolf will live with the lamb, the leapord will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.  The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox.  The infant will play near the hole of the cobra, and the young child put his hand into the viper’s nest.  They will neither harm nor destroy on my holy mountain, for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.  In that day the Root of Jesse will stand as a banner for the peoples; the nations will rally to him, and his place of rest will be glorious.  In that day the Lord will reach out his hand a second time to reclaim the remnant that is left of his people from Assyria, from Lower Egypt, from Upper Egypt, from Cush, from Babylonia, from Hamath and from the islands of the sea. 

He will raise a banner for the nations and gather the exiles of Israel; he will assemble the scattered people of Judah from the four corners of the earth.  Ephraim’s jealousy will vanish, and Judah’s enemies will be cut off; Ephraim will not be jealous of Judah, nor Judah hostile toward Ephraim.  They will swoop down on the slopes of Philistia to the west; together they will plunder the people to the east.  They will lay hands on Edom and Moab, and the Ammonites will be subject to them.  The Lord will dry up the gulf of the Egyptian sea; with scorching wind he will sweep his hand over the Euphrates River.  He will break it up into seven streams so that men can cross over in sandals.  There will be a highway for the remnant of his people that is left from Assyria, as there was for Israel when they came from Egypt.

Matthew 3:16-17   As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water.  At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lightning on him.  And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Micah 5:2  “But you Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.  Matthew 2:1-2   After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem, and asked, “Where is the one who has been born King of the Jews?  We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.”

Isaiah 7:14  Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.  Matthew 1:22-23  All this took place to fulfill what the Lord has said through the prophet: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel-which means, “God is with us.”

Genesis 12:3  I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.  Matthew 1:1  A record if the genealogy of Jesus Christ the son of David, the son of Abraham:

Genesis 17:19  Then God said, “Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac.  I will establish a covenant with him that is an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him.  Luke 3:34  the son of Jacob, the son of Isaac, the son of Abraham, the son of Terah, the son of Nahor,

Genesis 49:10  The scepter will not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until he comes to whom it belongs and the obedience of the nations is his.  Hebrews 7:14-16   For it is clear that our Lord descended from Judah, and in regard to that tribe Moses said nothing about priests.  And what we have said is even more clear if another priest like Melchizedek appears, one who has become a priest not on the basis of a regulation as to his ancestry but on the basis of the power of an indestructible life.

Jeremiah 31:15  This is what the Lord says: “A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because her children are no more.”  Matthew 2:16-18  When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi.  Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled:  “A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.”

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.  Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.  But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophecy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.  Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.  And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.

This morning satan put terrible thoughts in my mind but quickly God took them away with Biblical scripture and led me to read about inner beauty.  All of a sudden out of no where these terrible thoughts came into my mind regarding my physical beauty.  The thoughts were that I don’t measure up to physical beauty because I am somewhat overweight.  I started to cry about this because I have been trying to lose weight but for health reasons and it is a struggle for me.  I used to be able to stick with a very strick diet program and now I just can’t do it.  However, I do eat lowfat and healthy but it is hard to get off the 15 pounds that I need to lose.  My human nature does want to be beautiful and slim for my physical appearance for my husband.  He does tell me that I am beautiful but it hard for me to accept what he says.  The Holy Spirit is convicting my heart not to focus on physical beauty and immediately in the middle of my crying these Biblical verses came to my mind in 1 Peter 3: 3-6   Your beauty should not come from outward odornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.  They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.  You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

I find myself crying more these days; endless tears and prayers to God with a broken heart for the lost people of this world.  No, I am not judging anyone when I share Biblical scripture.  I am just sharing God’s word with people.  Today was an unusual day for me.  This morning I cried nonstop for hours.  I couldn’t stop crying and my heart was so heavy and sad as I prayed to God today.  The more I cried the more I realized that God was laying this on my heart and He wanted me to weep and pray for the lost souls who won’t listen to Him.  He also reminded me that it is not me they are rejecting when I share the word of God on my blog, but they are rejecting Him and God’s heart is sad for them.  Yes, He has given us all free will, however He takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked but rather joy when they turn to Him and repent.  My heart is still so sad today for the lost people of this world and I find myself even crying for those who have committed vile acts against people, yes rapists and murderers alike.  I also am weeping for the victims of crimes, too.  I am a survivor of rape, sexual molestion, attempted kidnapping, attempted rape, and being hit by a car and mugged.  All of these are separate crimes by different people and not at one time.  Though this all has happened to me, I have forgiven them and my heart wants them to turn to God and repent.  God is the one who is changing my heart and yes of course I am sad for the victims because it does cause a lot of emotional problems and physical pain, too.  So, I am not trying to diminsh any severity of what a violent criminal does and they should go to prison.  What I am weeping over is their salvation in Christ Jesus.

Also, even those who have head knowledge but not heart knowledge of God and His Word because they, too are at risk for being condemned by God.  I am not judging, just speaking God’s Truth.  I love all people and God is reminding me to only hate their sin and not them as a person that God created.  I hate rape, murder, abuse, and all other evil acts but not the people.  This is what God hates and they are who He loves.  He wants me to love who He loves and hate what He hates.  God has called me to share His Truth and I find myself more and more relating to Jeremiah the weeping Prophet as those whom I share with are rejecting God’s Truth.  Not everyone is rejecting, but there are more people that are rejecting it than those who accept it.   Jeremiah 8: 4-9  “Say to them, ‘This is what the Lord says:  “When men fall down, do they not get up?  When a man turns away, does he not return?  Why then have these people turned away?  Why does Jerusalem always turn away?  They cling to deceit; they refuse to listen attentively, but they do not say what is right.  No one repents of his wickedness, saying, “What have I done?”  Each pursues his own course like a horse charging into battle.  Even the stork in the sky knows her appointed seasons, and the dove, the swift and the thrush observe the time of their migration.  But my people do not know the requirements of the Lord.  ” ‘How can you say, “We are wise for we have the law of the Lord,” when actually the lying pen of the scribes has handled it falsely?  The wise will be put to shame; they will be dismayed and trapped.  Since they have rejected the word of the Lord, what kind of wisdom do they have?

In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge:  Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage- with great patience and careful instruction.  For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine.  Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.  They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.  But, you keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.