My life before I met Jesus was very much like a crazy and dangerous roller coaster ride.  Some people like roller coaster rides, in fact a lot of people do.  Not me, I guess I am just a scaredy cat.  But, amazingly enough in my life before Jesus shined his light on me, I went down dangerous and scary roads.  In fact, trying to find peace and love, I ended up in dangerous places.  As a kid, I did go to a true believing, God fearing church and learned about Jesus, but my heart wasn’t ready to accept Him in it and my life.  I had head knowledge but not heart knowledge and as time went on, I went away from the church.  Though my grandma, mom, and other people would tell me how I need Jesus and he is the answer to everything, I still didn’t accept this as truth.  Honestly I rejected it altogether.  I even told them how it didn’t make sense and refused to listen to anything regarding God or the Bible.  I was very selfish and only wanted to live for myself, but truly it was only in God’s timing would He show Himself to me.  Due to things that happened to me along the way growing up and early adulthood, I had a hard time accepting that God did love me because He let things happen to me.  My heart was cold toward Him.  Like the Israelites who went away from God and suffered oppression, I too was left to evil because instead of turning to God for help, I went away from Him into evil.  Anything that is done without God is evil because He is not a part of it.  Some people would say that’s not true, but it is the truth.  What I would try to do for good would end up being evil because my mind was futile and I was self righteous.  So, I did end up doing bad things just like all people have done and still do at times.  The difference between Christians and those who reject God’s Son is the fact that when you have the Holy Spirit of God, He convicts you of your own sin and keeps your heart aligned with God’s.  It is only by the grace of God that anyone can have any good because He is the only One who is perfect and never evil. 

In 2008 when I was in a store to buy presents for my son’s birthday, a messenger of God placed something in my hand, closed it and said these words:”Here this is for you.”  Then he walked away and I didn’t see him anymore.  When I opened my hand to see what he placed in it, I was humbled before God because what he had given me was a cross with words written that said I Jesus Lord.  I knew immediately what God was telling me because His Spirit opened the eyes of my heart to see Jesus and I said yes to Jesus and now the Spirit of God lives within my heart and my life hasn’t been the same ever since that special day in March of 2008.  Praise the Lord because God brought me to Jesus.  He knew my heart was ripe to receive Him.